Robert Connor, a grandchild of John and Mary Connor, passed on November 15th, 2024. His Funeral (at Holy Name Cathedral, Chicago) and internment (at St. Mary Catholic Cemetery, Evergreen Park, IL) were on Thursday, December 19th, 2024.
Rob and I connected over Facebook a few years ago, and had an occasional but steady correspondence. He was also an “Admin” for the Connor family’s Facebook page: helping recruit family members to join, and helping decide when those requesting to join really were members of the family.
I learned of Rob’s passing from his friend and colleague, Kathleen Ward. She was one of the first to learn of his passing, and reached out to me as the only person she could find who was a relative of Rob’s.
Below are the introduction I gave at the start of Rob’s Funeral Mass, and the Eulogy that was delivered by Kathleen.
Other speakers at the Funeral Mass included:
Joe Monahan, Founding Partner at Joe Monahan Law Group, LLC a longtime friend who, like Rob, has been very active in Chicago at the State and local level with regards to issues of Mental Health and Homelessness.
Madeleine Sharko, also an attorney, and, like Rob an active member of the Secular Franciscan Order (Ordo Franciscanus Saecularis).
Peter Gilmour, a friend of Rob’s and Professor Emeritus at Loyola University’s Institute for Pastoral Studies.
The service was organized and led by Father J. Michael Sparough with the assistance of Deacon Dan Welter. Peter, Joe, Madeleine and Fr. Michael all contributed to the writing of Rob’s Obituary as well.
Allen’s Opening Remarks at Rob’s Funeral:
Good morning everyone, I am Allen Vander Meulen, a cousin of Robert Connor from his father’s side of the family. On behalf of the entire family, welcome to all of you. We also want to give a heartfelt “thank you” to the many here who have contributed in so many ways to help us respond to Rob’s unexpected passing; and who helped us prepare and plan-for this morning’s Funeral Mass and other events happening today as we celebrate the life of Rob, mourn his passing, and honor his memory.
As most of you know, Rob never married, and never had kids. He was also an only child, and by far the youngest of all of his cousins (at least on his father’s side). When he was a youngster, most of them were already teens or adults. By the time he reached adulthood, most had moved on to lives and careers far from Chicago.
But Rob stayed here. He went to school here, found a job here, enacted his faith here, and lived here, his entire life. All of his emotional and physical energy went into the communities here that he was a part-of: his employer and profession, his faith, and his neighbors. In many ways, they – you – were his family.
In recognition of these deep and decades-long connections, we’ve asked some from these communities to be part of Rob’s Funeral Mass this morning.
Lastly, I’ve received a lot of very positive feedback on Rob’s obituary. Folks said they appreciated how well written and complete it was. I thank you for that; although it too was a community effort: the original draft that I wrote was fairly brief and “high level.” I then circulated it among his friends and colleagues for commentary and revision. … And, well – most of them are lawyers.
In closing, I’d like to mention that the committal will occur at St. Mary’s Cemetery in Evergreen Park following the Mass. I know – it’s quite a drive – but then again, he grew up on the South Side! You are invited to attend the luncheon that will follow, at Francesca’s on 95th in Oak Lawn, starting at around 2:00pm.
Thank you.
Kathleen Ward’s Eulogy, as originally written:
Good Morning…I’m Kathy Ward. I met Rob in 1993. At various times, he was my boss or a colleague – but he was always my friend.
It’s an honor for me to have been asked to deliver Rob’s eulogy. As you can guess, I handled a number of research assignments for Rob over the years, but this was new territory. Lexis or Westlaw weren’t going to help so I decided to use Google for some ideas of what to say.
There are a lot of suggestions out there. You can even use Artificial Intelligence to put together a eulogy. As an aside, Rob was very interested in all things information technology related, so a part of him might have been amused about using AI, but it wouldn’t capture the essence of Rob and that’s what I hope to do today.
Rob lived an amazingly full life. Rob was intellectually curious and some of these interests evolved into activities to which he poured time and passion over the years. His obituary provides the best overview. As Allen took the lead with family in constructing Rob’s obituary, there were many contributions from others that helped to paint a more complete picture of who Rob was. If I tried to cover all of it, I would run out of my allotted time. However, I do want to touch on some highlights.
I met Rob in 1993 when I was officed on the 6th floor of the Thompson Center as the initial staff member for the Governor’s Task Force on Human Service Reform. The Task Force was funded by the Annie E. Casey Foundation, and we were lucky enough to purchase what was at the time considered to be state of the art computer equipment. It didn’t take long for him to come around and introduce himself. He was equally curious as to how the task force work might affect the-then Department of Mental Health and Developmentally Disabilities and what would happen to the computer equipment when the task force work was done. He expressed an interest in hiring me and that eventually happened. The computer equipment didn’t stay in Legal but I hope Rob felt he got the better part of the deal. In any event, I had a longer shelf life.
Rob was a strategic thinker. Presented with an issue that potentially had more than one answer, Rob could immediately expound on three or four paths – all of them legally sound. In the early 1990s he was a regular attendee at monthly meetings run by Judge Barth, then presiding judge in the County Division Cook County Circuit Court. The attendees could be described as a Hall of Fame for the mental health and disability law community. These were problem solving and policy making sessions. While the Department could often be the brunt of criticism, Rob never took it personally. He would come back to his office and talk with management. Legislative initiatives and the nexus for policy changes would result from those meetings.
Rob was equal opportunity when it came to furthering education. While he strongly encouraged us to broaden our legal knowledge and participate in professional associations, he was doing the same for himself.
As a member of the Chicago Bar Association, Rob chaired the Mental Health Law Committee on a few occasions. He encouraged staff to attend the meetings and was so persuasive that I agreed to follow in his footsteps as Chair. I believe that other staff attorneys also followed his lead in subsequent years. He eventually became active in the Illinois State Bar Association and participated actively in its legislative initiatives. I know that many of you here today partnered with Rob on these efforts. He was also a member of the Catholic Lawyers Guild where he served on its Board of Governors for the past three years.
When mandatory continuing legal education for lawyers was enacted here in Illinois, Rob had a plan. He worked with the Chicago Bar Association to make its seminars available to the IDHS attorneys. He worked diligently on establishing a contract with the CBA. I’m a little fuzzy on the initial details, but eventually we were able to access a number of recorded programs from various legal organizations on-line at not cost to us individually.
At some point, Rob developed an interest in seeking faith-based leadership roles. His quest began with a Spirituality and Spiritual Direction program through Loyola University. His enthusiasm for this year long program was infectious and with his encouragement, I enrolled the following year. In Rob’s case, he went on to earn MA degrees in Catholic Studies as well as Pastoral Studies/Spiritual Direction from Loyola. He was also an active volunteer and regularly provided spiritual direction to participants in the Spiritual Direction program.
More recently, he had professed to the Secular Franciscan Order and was the Minister of the San Damiano Fraternity at St. Peter’s church here in the Loop.
With his undergrad and law school education with the Vincentians, his post grad degrees with the Jesuits and his profession to the Franciscans, Rob checked off all the boxes.
Suffice it to say that he devoted his life to his work, his religion and his home life. These were not strictly compartmentalized. His involvement with the Catholic Lawyer’s Guild included arranging for educational programs on mental health issues.
Rob was a life-long Chicagoan, and he loved the city – especially the near north neighborhood where he lived most of his adult life. For a number of years, Rob rented his apartment at Sandburg Village from an investment owner. We would often encourage him to look around for a place to buy, but he held on to the hope that his landlord would eventually decide to sell. He enjoyed living in Sandburg and the view from his apartment. In 2004-2005, his landlord did decide to sell and Rob became a homeowner. He quickly became involved in the oversight of the various governing bodies at Sandburg where he could contribute to the betterment of life for all the residents.
A few more tidbits to throw out to hopefully catch the essence of Rob.
As mentioned earlier, he was very interested in information technology. For years, he took a couple vacation days to attend an annual tech conference. I remember complaining to him about someone taking up too much arm space to read the newspaper on the Metra train. He told me that the day would come when people would get the news from their computers. In fact, he predicted that their news could be filtered so they could only be presented with the topics they were interested in. At the time I found that unbelievable, but Rob was definitely on point.
He was a voracious reader and probably single handedly kept the local Borders Bookstore in business for a number of years.
Although in many ways, he was the ultimate urbanite, he was not one to walk more than a few blocks. He was a pro at hailing taxi cabs.
In our many conversations, the thought of retirement was always far down the road. I do know that his ideal retirement job was to be the spiritual director on the Love Boat.
He was a real fan of reading about cooking. Every fall, he would make a point to buy all the Thanksgiving and Christmas issues of the various food magazines: Gourmet, Saveur, Food and Wine, to name a few. However, I can’t recall ever hearing him talk about actually cooking anything.
He loved to be in the know, but he never betrayed a confidence. He wouldn’t even own up to having known about it ahead of time. All your secrets were safe with him.
He was a good listener and you could count on getting good advice from him although you usually had to ask for it. He was never judgmental.
It was important for him to have a well-located cabana at the Sandburg swimming pool each summer.
He had the most infectious laugh.
He had the best collection of Christmas ties – and there were at least a dozen of them.
Speaking of Christmas, it was a time of year he embraced. As soon as the Christkindle Market at the Daley Center opened, he would be over there to collect the latest Gluwein mug.
He often talked about his bubble light Christmas tree. I never saw it but I suspect those of you who were his neighbors were well familiar with it.
As much as he loved Christmas, it can be a difficult time to navigate – especially for single people. I like to think about Rob joining loved ones that have gone before him and being able to celebrate Christ’s birth with them in heaven.
May he rest in peace.
Copyright (c) 2024 by Allen Vander Meulen and Kathleen Ward, all rights reserved.
The John and Mary Connor Family 